Life indeed is just a pot of cooking beans. This year 2019 has been a great one. In this year I’ve seen unlimited joy, I’ve felt peace within, my mental health put to test, I’ve felt pain, I started a business, I got disappointments, I cried, I prayed, I wished for better days, I hoped for better nights, I got mood swings, I had sleepless nights, I prayed for miracles, I panicked, I got betrayed, I started hearing things about myself from the people I least expected that from, I met good and bad people, I realized who my true friends were, I knew who was real family, I had struggles, I had injuries, I lost a friend and after all of these, I SURVIVED.

This year has been one of the most challenging so far, On the 1stday of 2019, I was in China, I didn’t have enough money on me but I decided to go to church on the new years eve, the church I went to was the next city after the one I was in, it was about an hour journey. After the church service, I missed the bus going back to my city so I had to use a taxi, when I checked the money I had on my phone, it wasn’t enough to get me to my city. I started looking at the meter when the money read up to what I had I told the taxi to stop. My brother, my friend and I came down from the taxi and started looking for other options. It was winter, I wasn’t wearing a warmer nor did I carry a jacket (I don’t know how I ended up making that mistake). I was wearing just a jean and a dashiki, we were in the cold for almost an hour before we later booked a taxi on the app that allowed us to pay later. As I was standing in that cold I prayed that at the end of the year I should be in a better place.

The middle of the year was better than the beginning. I started seeing God’s hand in everything. I realized some things happen for other things to happen. In July, I left China and travelled back to Nigeria. 

We have come to the end of the year and I just arrived in Canada. Canada has been my dream country and finally, I’m here. 

I remember the days I prayed for all that I am and have now, it has shown me that God is with me. I’m using this medium to appreciate God for the little things I forget to thank Him for.

Lord God, I’m thankful for the life that you have given me, I’m thankful for the grace you’ve shown me, I’m thankful for the air I breath, I’m thankful for the gift of sight, protection, good health of both mind and body, and mostly the beautiful family you blessed me with. I’m sorry for the days I forget to put You first, for the days I doubted You, for the sins I’ve committed knowingly and unknowingly, for the sins I’ve committed in my thoughts, word, and actions, I’m mostly sorry for the things and moments I forget to thank you for. Lord, I love you.

I’m thankful for my Mother. My Mom is the strongest, beautiful, caring and most loving person I’ve ever met. She wants nothing but the best for me. She has done her best to give me the best things of life, She has been my inspiration, my prayer warrior and partner, my business partner, my gist partner, the shoulder I cry on, the one who rejoices with me and loves me unconditionally. I love, appreciate and adore her. I would choose her over and over again. I love you, Mummy!

I’m thankful for my brother; he has been the best sibling ever. We never used to like each other while growing up but somewhere along the line we became inseparable, we give each other strength when the other gets weak, we were destined to be great friends in this life and God made it easier by making him my brother. He’s more like a sister to me and I’m like a brother to him. We are the opposite of each other yet we make a good team. We keep it going both in good and bad days, I love you, Blooder!

I’m thankful for my extended family. My uncles, My aunties and My cousins 

I’m thankful for my friends, you all are amazing. Let me talk about a few of them. E-jay and i have been best friends for over 8 years, I call her my sunshine, sunshine, you’ve been amazing so far and thank you for making my stay in Nigeria a lovely one, I appreciate and love you. Jencita and I have been friends for over 6 years and she has been more than great. She made my stay in Nigeria very interesting. She was there for me most of the time I needed her. Janelle and I have been friends for 4 years, I call her bahdest and those 4 years seem like 40 years, thanks for the vibe in Nigeria. Jennifer and I met in china so we’ve been friends for about 2 years now and I can say we’ve bonded so much that we became best of friends, I call her my baby mama, we been through both rough and smooth times and I’m happy today that we both get to laugh at the end of the day. Thanks, baby mama for making friendship so easy. I’m typing too much now, thanks to all of my friends; Gabriel, John, Abigail, Hope Chimmy, Kobiruo, and Ella you all made my stay in Nigeria a good one. To all my friends I didn’t mention I appreciate you all, you mean a lot to me. To all those that I met this year thank you, you’re either a blessing or a lesson.


I’m thankful for me. It wouldn’t have been possible without my efforts and sacrifices as well. I was able to come this far because I believed in myself, I knew what I wanted and I worked hard enough to get it. I’m not at that place I so want to be yet but I can tell you that I’m getting there. 

The year 2019 has come to an end, I’m happy I’m alive and doing great and I’m proud of myself that I’m ten times better than who and what I was at the beginning of the year. I pray for better days in 2020 

As long as I survive, I would arrive.





The reason why I believe that angels live on earth is because I had the opportunity to meet one.

How can a person be so kind, beautiful in and out, so contented, so true, so strong, so talented, so playful, so free and down to earth?

Anyi was a peaceful place in human form

She loved life so much and made use of every moment. There was no dull moment with Anyi, She loved giving people new names, She called me black diamond and she called herself star beauty. When school closed she’d make us all dance on the table singing high school musical songs. She had a very unique handwriting, she didn’t believe anyone would be able to write exactly like her, her best friend Favour could write almost exactly how she did, good thing is that I’m good at forging writings and signatures so during one of our classes I wrote my note exactly like how she does and waited till the end of class to show her and the other people that was curious to know if I could really do it.

On Sunday evening 24th of November 2019 I got the unacceptable news. When I heard, I was certain that it was just mere rumours but then I felt restless. In a short while, it was confirmed to be true. With tears in my eyes that refused to roll down cause I couldn’t accept the truth, in a second it felt like I just finished from DSS (the name of the secondary school we both attended) the previous day. All the memories we had together in school came flashing back and all I could see was Anyi. I remember how we’d be together after the close of school till our moms were ready to go.

I remember one time after secondary school when I had already travelled to Cyprus I texted her on Facebook and we was sharing our experiences on school life and I told her how much I missed Nigerian food and she said I should do and come back.

For days after hearing the news I was in shock and in deep examination of conscience. It’s good to give people all the love we can while they are still here and not wait till when they are gone. Live life valuing people and making every moment worth it. I learnt a lot of things at that time; I called everyone I hadn’t heard from in a long time just making sure they are doing okay.

When I watched the video Anyi posted on her Facebook about her illness, I just couldn’t help but wonder how she could smile all through the pain and live a happy life.

Anyi was a woman with great potentials, she was a strong woman and She was always contented. Till now I’m still in shock and can’t help but think about her. Anyi my dear, you are deeply missed and I appreciate God for giving us an opportunity to know such a perfect person like you. Star angel, when I look at the stars at night I smile because I know you’re one of them.

As difficult as it is to accept, May her soul through the mercy of God rest in perfect peace. Amen



Having to write about you makes my brain go empty, like I can’t put pen to paper or words to paper.
Am all confused.. cos where do I start from? The fact I fell in love with you because you first loved me or the fact that your love broke me down like the way dove love each other, making me feel like even talking with anyone that is not Abba is like breaking the gazes of my love and yours piercing through my skin.
You are crazy and it’s funny how we met. All I can actually say is that l am madly in love with you.
I bless the day we met and am grateful to Abba for letting us meet.
I know I don’t tell you how much I love you, I know but the truth is I am just so scared and in awe of how much you broke down my walls, those walls I took good time building.
Am just so scared of waking up one day to find out this was all a dream and you never existed.
Am scared to tell you how much I am in love with you cos I don’t want to lose you.
I put up this wall cos I know I will run mad if I wake up and you are not here…
I love you more than the air I breathe, can’t have a day pass without you finding your way to my thoughts forever.
Babe, l love you forever and a day.
The seconds I don’t hear from you burns like a wild fire looking for where to express itself.
You know my love for you is so great words can’t actually explain it.
Any thing that comes after the love I have for Abba romancing me into wholeness is you cos you don’t complete me. We are being made complete and perfect in Abba. Love you forever and a day.

My beloved
Your perfection.
Written 30/9/19. 8:45pm.
By Billi_Kprince



I never used to fix nails. I love simple things plus I can be lazy. I never used to wear makeup, lashes and nails. I fixed lashes for the first time in 2017, it was a beautiful experience lol I felt like an entire house on me, it felt so heavy and i could barely see.

My friends used to tell me that I should stop doing team natural and try out new stuff. One day I followed my friend Abigail to the place where she usually does her nails and lashes and she kept insisting that I fix lashes. While she was insisting the lady at the shop told my friend Abigail that when it’s time for me to fix the lashes nobody would tell me lol. Few days later I kept thinking about fixing lashes, I always thought that the day I fix lashes I would go blind lol. One day I just went back to the shop on my own and told the lady at the shop that I wanted to fix my lashes. She laughed and said I told you when it’s time you would come nobody go force you lol. My heart was beating as fast as it could because I was wondering if I had just made the worst mistake of my life. When she was done fixing the lashes for me, my eyes felt so heavy and I barely could see lol. Any small breeze and I thought the lashes would fall off lol. I called my friend Abigail with so much excitement and told her, all she did was laugh and said so now that you fix the lashes have you died? lol it felt like an accomplishment and since then I fix them once in a while.

The first time I fixed artificial nails was when I was in China 2018. My brother took my friend Fatuma a.k.a Nash and I to the mall. I usually just put polish on my natural nails as they were really long. Sometimes people even thought my nails was artificial. So that day, we went to the nail shop in the mall. Fatuma was getting the artificial nails and I was normally supposed to just polish my nails when Fatuma insisted I fix the artificial nails that it would look nicer. I turned and looked at my brother and he was like ‘’that wouldn’t be a bad idea’’. Since it had been on my mind for a while and they also suggested I was like COOL let’s do this and that was how they cut off my natural nails to fix the artificial one lol

I came back from China July 2019 and I wanted to fix my nails. My friend Janelle and I was taking a stroll and a lady stopped us and said I fix nails and i’m also a make up artist. So my friend and I was like why don’t we just fix our nails here and so we did. Since then I usually just go to that shop to do my nails and hair since she was a really nice person and took good care of her customers.

I called her and booked an appointment but she said she was traveling so I told her please call me when you come back cause I need to fix my nails.
I was sleeping that hot afternoon of October 1st when my phone rang and the caller was the lady at the nail shop, she said she was back and I should come fix my nails now but I told her I was tired so we should push it to the next day. She insisted we did it that day as the next day she had an event to attend. I got up from the bed, dressed up and went there
As she was filing the nails i got injured a few times, my mind was already telling me to tell her to just chill and we would do it some other time cause i can hardly bear pain and I hate to see my blood. I decided to just bear and get it done with.

On the 3rd of October 2019, the day it went wrong.
Around 10am my Moms friend came visiting. I was in my brothers room watching tv, my brother said he was going out and my mind told me to follow him but i was really tired so I decided to just stay home. I went to the sitting room and as I was leaving to my room I saw my purse on the center table. I decided to grab my purse. As I was doing so, the purse dropped from my hand and in the process of catching, I don’t know what happened and boom my entire finger nails and the artificial one was all out.
It wasn’t painful at all at that very moment, in about a few seconds there’s blood everywhere, i’m confused on what to do, My Mom was saying “i told you you to stop fixing nails, if you must do so, fix a shorter one and not all these long ones that looks like a witch”, my Moms friend was asking me if it was affecting my head lol, that when her nails went off it was like her head was about to explode.

The moment I saw blood everywhere I started to panic, I was trying so hard not to cry and then I remembered that the previous night I was trying to turn on the light with that exact finger and I got an electric shock. Immediately I started crying thinking the enemies wanted to destroy that finger lol I told my mom and she first poured holy water on the injured finger looolllll.
I started feeling serious pain. My mom took me to my room and wore me a trouser, and asked if I was okay with just the shirt or if she should wear me a bra. I had a deep thought “what if I jumped so much at the hospital and my shirt goes up breast don open o” so I said she should wear me the bra. lol I hadn’t brushed my teeth that morning so I did so, then finally we drove to the hospital. when I got there, the receptionist told me to sit and join the queue, I told her with the pain I am in I can’t. She said except I pay 3,000 Naira for emergency before I can be attended to immediately, so my Mom did so and we was taking to the emergency ward.

Oya na hear the gbege start ooo
The artificial nails was glued with super glue so that was a problem. The nurse gave me an injection in my ass and one on my upper arm. The doctor then held a razor like thing and held my finger, immediately i turned my face away. I didn’t even look at all, when the pain became unbearable i just held my moms dress tightly, it took like forever for them to finish. The doctor had to take out both my natural and artificial nails. The way I was shouting in that hospital it was like I was undergoing childbirth. This I can say is one of the worse days of my life. I cried a whole lot and when the entire process was done the doctor said every 48 hours i’d come back to the hospital for wound dressing 4 different times. So now I have to make sure water doesn’t touch my left fingers so it doesn’t go on the wound cause if it does it wouldn’t heal properly. Now I eat, bath, work and do every single thing with just my right hand. Until this happened, i never knew how important it is to have both hands functioning.

Please always be careful when you fix your nails and go for the normal nail glue and not super glue. This happened on my left finger and for days my left arm was in severe pain so i couldn’t even take out the rest nails. I had to wait for a week before taking out the rest.

You remain my favorite audience


Now She’s got me confused and thinking. Today it’s the green light sign and tomorrow she’s speaking against it, how then do I go about it.

She’s just a beautiful flower,
I love it so much that I just don’t want to pluck it.
I want to water it everyday and see it grow beautifully,
I want to hold it so tight that i’m scared it might suffocate,
I fear if I show it love, it would be excess,
I don’t want to make it depend on me because I fear I would fail and disappoint it.
How can i tell it how much i love it, without doing too much,
How can i show i care without going the wrong way,
how can i be sure that when I say ”I have something for you”, it’s mutual.

Now I just have to watch from afar. It’s better I water you everyday and hope you become more beautiful, than I pluck you and you end up dying.

let the heavens be my witness for my words are naked.



There comes a time when we begin to question so many things happening around us. It feels like we missed the right path, seems we got so fast that we ended up following the wrong direction. Everything seems to be going on well yet we feel so empty and restless.

Along the line, we lost our voice, we forgot how to love, we forgot when to care, we forgot what we believed in, we forgot what to hope for. There’s just so much to say but the words just don’t come out, there’s just so many fixed feelings, so many; thoughts, questions, words, memories and so many confusing imaginations, so much tieing us to the past, the lessons from the past so fresh that it keeps you limited from the things present.

You just want to be free yet worried about being so free. You just want to careless but end up being extremely careful. Sometimes you’re enjoying the beauty of the moment but at some point you just want to run away from it. You just keep avoiding that dark place, You just suddenly feel like you are drowning, No one seems to really understand. You’re in doubt of every single action. You are prepared for the worse when the best hasn’t even started.

All there is, is just a BROKEN SOUL wanting to be found YET scared of being found, wanting to be healed YET scared of being healed.



Yellow for one week

This is the first time I’m wearing the color Yellow. For some reasons i love wearing dull color clothes. I feel so comfortable in dull clothes. I was reluctant to buy the blouse but i said to myself why not give it a try. When i wore it i felt so different, i felt like i was given a new life, i was so happy. I took pictures and videos, and when i began to look at the pictures one after the other i could see the beauty of yellow on a dark skin girl. I wore yellow all through that week lol. I felt like i was reborn. I sent the pictures to my Mom and immediately she phoned me and told me how happy she was that i tried a brighter color. She said “You look so beautiful, don’t you see how a bright color looks good on you? please do away with all your dull clothes and get way brighter colors).

Have you ever tried a different color from your usual and how did it go? Did you regret it or did you love it?. Please share with me your experience on the comment section and let the gist continue!